At the moment life is busy & stressful with a lot happening every day. I spend my day juggling lots of different tasks, people and emotions and it’s all running along just fine. Most days every one of those balls stays in the air and everything happens exactly as it should. However I do find myself paying the price at the end of the day. I sit down on the sofa and I ache from head to toe from pure exhaustion. Every ounce of what I have to give the day is gone. Fortunately I have the luxury of being able to sleep; I don’t suffer from insomnia and I have no little children that have to be tended to at night so I get a full night’s sleep (if I drag myself to bed on time). And in the morning as I wake up slowly I pull my strength together for the day and remember all of the good things in life and how I can remain whole and fulfilled amid the chaos.
This trio of imps helps an awful lot. Animals have basic needs; feed them, give them water and allow them to lie on your lap. Then the purring (at least from the kittens!) starts and you realise how fulfilled and content these little beings are. If you stop moving and give in to that purring machine it’s better than any mediation, pure relaxation.
As I’m ending the day so tired and low I am trying to push myself to find little pleasures in my day. Taking an extra 2 minutes to sit in the sunshine, closing my eyes and breathing deep. Slowing down the adrenaline buzzing through my system that allows me to be there for everyone and never forget a packed lunch, change of clothes, pick-up time or hospital appointment.
In previous years I’ve done far more work for magazines and other publications. When I’ve had design time available and sample knitters available to help this was easy to do and it fit in with my schedule with little extra effort. Over the last year this has almost stopped but it’s given me greater control over my own schedule. It allows me to sit with me knitting and swatches and appreciate them. Feel the action of knitting every one of those stitches and allow the methodical nature of knitting to soothe me and give me control. This is really important, so much of life feels out of control right now having something that makes you feel connected to the physical world that you can mould and manipulate to make it EXACTLY the way you want is a good feeling.
I’m going to quote my fellow designer Karie Westermann here as she’s put it really nicely!
Making stuff is powerful. Making stuff gives you agency. Making stuff transforms. Making stuff makes something out of nothing. Go make stuff
If you can end a day by holding up a tangible object that you made with your hands then that’s a good day.
Does creating give you a feeling of control and contentment over your life?
Life is very busy for you these days and it always fascinates me that you still find time and energy to design and run KAL’s and support all the knitters who love to follow you and knit your designs. What you say about knitting is so true. I had to retire due to ill health and became very down as I felt pointless and could not come to terms with my new life. Then I rediscovered knitting through This is Knit shop in Dublin and Ravelry. Now I knit constantly. It is soothing and enlivening at the same time. And the glory of producing an end product cannot be beaten. I love the evenings when I can sit with my knitting, or plan another project. And the knitting network is so supportive. Keep finding those soothing moments. They will help to put the chaotic times into perspective.
A friend (also a knitter) recently said “You’re obsessed with knitting.” After reading
your blog I have the perfect response, knitting gives me contentment and allows me to be in control.
Thank you for sharing pictures of your animals. I am in the process of grieving right
now over the recent loss of our 16yr old Border Collie “Seamus” and our Golden
Retriever “Connor.”
Pat
Knitting quietly with my two cats on or nearby, and a sip of brandy in the evenings
is better than anything for relaxing and clearing my mind. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Carol, Patricia & Pat.
Recently I found your patterns on ravelry. I am Irish and been to Ireland twice. I am now so excited beyond words because my husband is taking me on your May cruise!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just had knee replacement surgery so the cruise thoughts make work hard at therapy. Looking so forward to meeting you and all the knitters
:-) I’m looking forward to the cruise as well, it’s a first as well and I’m hoping we’ve got a nice smooth ship!