At the moment life is busy & stressful with a lot happening every day. I spend my day juggling lots of different tasks, people and emotions and it’s all running along just fine. Most days every one of those balls stays in the air and everything happens exactly as it should. However I do find myself paying the price at the end of the day. I sit down on the sofa and I ache from head to toe from pure exhaustion. Every ounce of what I have to give the day is gone. Fortunately I have the luxury of being able to sleep; I don’t suffer from insomnia and I have no little children that have to be tended to at night so I get a full night’s sleep (if I drag myself to bed on time). And in the morning as I wake up slowly I pull my strength together for the day and remember all of the good things in life and how I can remain whole and fulfilled amid the chaos.
This trio of imps helps an awful lot. Animals have basic needs; feed them, give them water and allow them to lie on your lap. Then the purring (at least from the kittens!) starts and you realise how fulfilled and content these little beings are. If you stop moving and give in to that purring machine it’s better than any mediation, pure relaxation.
As I’m ending the day so tired and low I am trying to push myself to find little pleasures in my day. Taking an extra 2 minutes to sit in the sunshine, closing my eyes and breathing deep. Slowing down the adrenaline buzzing through my system that allows me to be there for everyone and never forget a packed lunch, change of clothes, pick-up time or hospital appointment.
In previous years I’ve done far more work for magazines and other publications. When I’ve had design time available and sample knitters available to help this was easy to do and it fit in with my schedule with little extra effort. Over the last year this has almost stopped but it’s given me greater control over my own schedule. It allows me to sit with me knitting and swatches and appreciate them. Feel the action of knitting every one of those stitches and allow the methodical nature of knitting to soothe me and give me control. This is really important, so much of life feels out of control right now having something that makes you feel connected to the physical world that you can mould and manipulate to make it EXACTLY the way you want is a good feeling.
I’m going to quote my fellow designer Karie Westermann here as she’s put it really nicely!
Making stuff is powerful. Making stuff gives you agency. Making stuff transforms. Making stuff makes something out of nothing. Go make stuff
If you can end a day by holding up a tangible object that you made with your hands then that’s a good day.
Does creating give you a feeling of control and contentment over your life?