Unexpected Silver Linings

It’s been quite a year so far hasn’t it?

I keep looking back to my trip to New York in January for Vogue Knitting Live and I feel SO grateful that I got to visit when it was still safe.

I miss travel. I miss teaching classes in person. I miss my retreats and I miss hugging all you wonderful knitters.

And 2020 just has that feeling of we aren’t through yet.

It was a strange year for my dad to die, Covid meant that he was both very near (they live next door to me) but so very far away. I did not stay in the same room as my parents until August. I didn’t hug my father since the start of the year.

As it became clear that he was drawing near the end I got a bit braver about physical contact, I even snuck a brief hug from behind 2 days before he died.

The last few weeks were like living in a cocoon, navigating, nurses, doctors, chemist and medical equipment.

I’m so grateful that he was at home, being with someone in a non-medical setting as they are reaching the end is a very intimate thing. For most of the last 24 hours, it was just me and my mother with family dropping in and out to say goodbye. It felt like an honour to be able to do that for your parent.

As he was sick for 3 years I think a good part of the grieving happened already. He had a terminal diagnosis 3 years ago and that was harder than dealing with his actual death now.

Enjoying the ‘here and now’ when time is limited is hard. Especially when everyone keeps acting like it’s just magically going to go away and he’ll just ‘bounce back’.

Now I’m going to stop talking about him, it’s a whole lot easier to deal with his death if I can just sidestep and focus my brain on business and knitting!

Like the rest of the world,

I’m currently trying to navigate the new world we live in, staying safe, while still keeping my business ticking over and growing in new ways.

2020 was supposed to be the year that I had more in-person tours and retreats than ever before.

Now in silver lining terms, it did work out well for me that everything was cancelled as I was here and present for my father with no distractions or cancellations on my end necessary. I’m a big believer in looking for silver linings, yes the world as you know it may be crumbling

BUT

What can you rebuild?

I’m such a non-business person. The idea of a business plan and projections seem a little insane to me. They’re just wishful thinking. Like pulling numbers out of the sky!

I’ve come to the conclusion that moving forward I’m going to focus on what I enjoy doing, doing it as well as I can and hoping you’ll believe that as well.

All of the business successes this year were completely unexpected (The Celtic Knits Club and Fit your Knits Masterclass, all thanks to you) so I think that tuning into my internal compass is the way to go.

All of this is just the tip of the iceberg that is 2020 but that’s another post for another day.

How about you?

Has your 2020 had any unexpected silver linings?

 

2 thoughts on “Unexpected Silver Linings

  1. Oh yes Carol….our cloud wasn’t lined with silver but gold and named
    Penelope Christina. She was born unexpectedly into our family 7 weeks
    ago and is a delight during these times to her little sisters and cousins.
    I did my usual “drop-in” today and you could feel the joy in the house as
    the children watched Angela’s Christmas on television.
    Yes, it will be a hard first Christmas without your father but you will get
    through it and it will be a joyful first Christmas with our little Penelope.

    Have a lovely Christmas with your family Carol,
    Nuala Connolly.

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